Just Rambling

I would like to thank everyone for all of their good wishes and comments that you have left on my blog. I am so touched that you would take a few minutes out of your busy lives to do this. My last few posts have not had any photos -- which make them kinda boring. Photos are what always draw me in to reading other's blogs - so don't tell me that it doesn't matter.

I'm doing OK. Chemo starts in a few days and I'm still uncertain about how I feel about this. After all these friggin' tests and doctors telling me how sick I am supposed to be - I'm trying hard not to give in to their "mind games". I still want to believe in Magic, Fairy Tale endings and MIRACLES! I actually had one doctor (whom I refer to as Dr. FAH - if you stop and think about it long enough, you will be able to figure out what F.A.H. stands for and if this offends anyone, I'm sorry; otherwise, you'll laugh your head off) ask me why I picked a disease that doctors like to treat. Needless to say, Dr. FAH and I butted heads right from the git-go. Thankfully, he was only a second opinion. I'm certain that his opinion of me was pretty similar to how I felt about him (he-he). My son went with me to this appointment and he could feel the tension in the room when he walked in. He knew his mother was in "smart ass" mode.

I've been having a lot of "Panic Attacks" at 4 in the morning, which is kind of funny, since I love the new Gwen Stefani song by the same title. (Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring & I want to make it worth the fight.) See, I warned you that I'm rambling.

Last night, we had a thunderstorm and I actually sat on the front porch and watched the storm roll in -- I don't think that I ever took the time to do that before. It was awesome!

My Moon Flower is finally blooming. I started a whole package of seeds and only two seedlings emerged. I took this photo at dusk, but by later in the evening it was wide open. It was beautiful even though white flowers are not really a favorite of mine.

My Black-eyed Susan vine is starting to bloom, too! I had only planted these in this pot a few weeks ago and they looked so small. It looked like a pot with a trellis in it and now you can't even see the trellis.

Quilting has kind of taken a summer vacation. I did manage to sew the final border on this quilt that I started about 4 years ago. I don't know what I was waiting for. This was going to be a housewarming gift for my son when he moved into his house (4 years ago), but I like the quilt top so much, that I may just keep it for myself.

As you can see, I couldn't get a photo of it without my quilt model, Bailey. I think he likes it too. Now, will I get it basted and quilted any time soon? Who knows.....

My One Year Blog-iversary!!

I can't believe that I've been blogging for a whole year. I've been keeping a journal for a few years with my most private thoughts about things. I found that it helps to write about things, which "puts it out there". You can rant and rave, then, put down the pen and move on. But, "putting it out there" on the "Web" and moving on was kind of frightening. What I didn't realize was that someone would actually read anything that I wrote, share their own feeling with a comment and that I would become a part of this Blogging Community.

All Aboard - The Train is Moving

Well, I have finally left the Land of Denial, passed through Anger and Bargaining, but Acceptance is just around the bend and Hope seems a long way off in the distance before I finally arrive.

What the heck am I talking about? Have I gone mad? Let's back up a moment and I tell you my story.

A few months ago, I went to the doctor with an itchy knot on my ear. I assumed it was either a cyst, or a reaction to my gold earrings . I'm not much on going to the doctor, so when my doctor saw me sitting in his office without a red "Rudolph" nose and itchy watery eyes, he was confused as to why I was there. I left with a prescription for antibiotics and steroids and had to come back in a month. After a month, my ear wasn't itchy, but the knot was still there. He gave me another series of antibiotics and I went on my merry way. Another month went by and the knot was not getting any smaller, so he sent me to a Plastic Surgeon to have it removed.

I was a little embarrassed about going to a plastic surgeon (visions of Nip/Tuck dancing in my head), but my doctor assured me that it was for minimal scarring since it was so close to my face. I don't know that the surgeon really even looked at my ear, but he said I would need surgery.

The out-patient surgery went fine and I was up and dressed and ready to walk out of the surgi-center in record time. Whenever they remove something from you, they need to biopsy it. All that I cared about was that it didn't hurt. Remember how I said that I wasn't much on going to the doctor? Well, I like hospitals even less.

The day after surgery, the surgeon's office calls me to say that I need to have another surgery to remove my partoid gland and to plan to spend the night in the hospital. Huh? I was still pretty drug induced from the day before.

A week later, I went back to the surgeon to have my stitches removed and to discuss this other surgery. Imagine my shock to find out that the doctor was on vacation and that he telephoned me to tell me that the surgery was being cancelled because I have cancer. CANCER!?! I need to find a cancer doctor. Huh, what? Where? In the yellow pages?? You could have scraped me up off the floor. I experienced the first four steps of grief in those few minutes ...shock, emotional release, panic and hostility. I wanted to bitch-slap someone right through the telephone.

In this past month, I have seen more doctors, had more tests, and more vials of blood drawn than I have ever had in my entire life. Panic attacks seem to be a way of life. I've even perfected the "Deer caught in the headlights" look. Most of these tests were a real challenge of my claustrophobia. I think I languished in the land of denial for so long, because I feel fine and still do. Sure, I'm tired - but I'm up early, I work all day, come home and do the daily chores, and at this point in my life, I can take a nap if I so desire. I've weighed the same for the past 30 years - so no dramatic weight loss. Yes, I break out in a sweat - but, at 52, I called them "Hot Flashes" and all of my friends were having them too. I've asked myself over and over again "How Can This Be?" "Is this a cruel joke?" "Will I wake up from this nightmare?

My diagnosis is Non-Hodgkin's Follicular Lymphoma. My treatment is CHOP-R chemotherapy, which starts on August 1st. I feel like my world has crumbled. I'm someone that took an Advil or a Claritin on rare occasions. Now, I'm going to be pumped full of chemicals and have other chemicals to stave of the side-effects of the first chemicals. I'm terrified. I feel like I'm on a long, dark, lonely road all by myself.

I'm trying take a positive outlook, but it isn't easy - so I'm taking baby steps. I'm happy in the morning that I woke up. I've spent a lot of time sitting and enjoying my garden this summer rather than just working in it. I don't end a conversation with family or friends without telling them that I love them. I'm thankful that I have enough fabric to keep me busy for quite a while to take my mind off of this disease. I've prayed harder than I've ever prayed. And, I'm trying to keep my sense of humor, although my hematologist doesn't think I'm taking this disease seriously. I'm also thankful that I have medical insurance. My little buddy, Bailey, is turning into quite the lap dog.

If you've made it this far through this morbid posting, I do have something quilty to talk about.
I now have 7 of the 11 blocks embroidered on the "A Tisket - A Tasket" quilt and as soon as they are pressed and cut down, I'll sew the sashing strips on them. I'll post a photo of them once I have them pressed.

Happy Fourth of July

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for all of your comments that you left on my "Land of Denial" posting. Each and everyone of them has really touched me and I am so glad that I belong to this "Blogging" community. Even though we do not know each other personally, we share a common bond with our love of quilting. I know that it is often said that Quilter's are the Greatest - I cannot agree more.

I am having good days and bad days and I am learning to cherish those good days. Absorbing myself in one of my projects has helped those bad days pass by rather quickly, too.

Well, I decided to invite my Mom over for dinner today, so I must go give the house a lick and a promise before she gets here.

Happy 4th of July!

The Land of Denial

Sorry that I have not been posting, but I had some rather devastating news that literally rocked my world. I haven't quite come to grips with the news and I have been on a trip to the land of "Denial" and that isn't a river in Egypt.

I'm not going to discuss what's going on because that would make it real -- and I'm just "not there yet".

However, on a quilt-y front, I decided to take on a new project. It combines my love of both quilting and embroidery. This pattern is "A Tisket - A Tasket" by Cotton Pickin Designs. I have 4 of the 11 blocks embroidered. It's a great project for me right now - since it's portable. A few of the blocks even have tear stains on them - but that's OK, since I will remember what I was going through while working on this quilt.

Thanks for understanding.

My 100th Posting

My 100th posting is supposed to be an inspirational one. I’ve had a lot of time to think this week about the things that are important to me and what I’ve learned about life. So here goes…

1. Family and friends are the most important thing in life. They are they for you no matter what – no questions asked and they accept you for who you are – warts and all!



2. Turning 50 made me think about the footprint that I’ve left on the world and hopefully, I have improved my tiny corner of the universe a little. I can also now admit when I’m wrong – not make excuses – and move on. Hey, I’m human and we make mistakes.



3. Gardening. Watching a tiny seed emerge into a beautiful flower just feels me with wonder and faith. Also, having a small garden and an energetic dog shows me that only the strong survive – unless you have a “Plan B”.



4. Quilting has taught me humility, patience, that “Done is Better Than Perfect” and “If you buy it – use it!”



5. I’ve learned from my dog that it’s OK to take a nap in the middle of the day. He has shown me what unconditional love is and how to become a better friend.



6. A sense of humor can get you through anything.



7. Blogging has opened a whole new world and inspired me to tackle things that I wouldn’t attempt before and shown me that help is just a “mouse click” away.
   

Just Taking It Easy

We have had some picture perfect weather these past few days and I have been just taking it easy and sitting out in a chair soaking up some sun rays and enjoying a "Chick" novel. Sounds like a vacation, but I had surgery on Tuesday afternoon and thankfully, I have not had any pain - I'm just so tired. I don't know how to act. I do a little bit (a very little bit) and then I have to sit and rest. I haven't done any sewing nor stitching - just sitting and reading and the occasional Sudoku puzzle (gotta keep the mind sharp!) Today is going to be a "HOT" one, so maybe once the A/C cools off my sewing room, I'll attempt to work on something and the choices are endless.



Nurse Bailey has been taking care of me - he seems to know all the good spots for taking a nap and wherever he is - it's the coolest spot in the house. Doesn't he just look like he's asking how I'm feeling? Nah, he's wondering when I'm going to throw the tennis ball. But this picture of him is just too cute.






All of my stuff has been planted in the garden and I've certainly enjoyed looking at it while sitting in my chair. My seedlings have been transplanted to larger containers and I'm just waiting until they are large enough to plant in the ground. I don't want to confuse them with weeds and I don't want Bailey tromping through the garden and crushing them - so they are in a holding pattern.

My "Faerie Garden" is filling in nicely. I was out there the other night on the full moon and thought I saw something in the garden twinkle and move -- maybe a fairy????? Bailey dove into the garden and started barking his head off -- so I flew into the house. I think it may have been a opossum - Yuck!

Well, my next post will be my 100th posting - so I need to go think of something inspiration to say.

Happy Memorial Day

Just a quick note to wish everyone a Happy Memorial Day. Please take a moment to remember of all those men and women who have died in military service to provide us with a blanket of freedom so that we may enjoy our picnics, family gatherings, trips to the beach and sporting events.

The weather here feels like the middle of summer, 90-degree days, high humidity and warm nights with the occasional thunderstorm that blows up and passes quickly.

Well, it's back to planting for me and hopefully, later, I will do a little stitching. I may even take a trip to Joann's to see what's on sale.

I haven't done any sewing this month. I have to keep reassuring "Bernina" that she didn't do anything wrong - I'm just too busy outside. Thankfully, she is a good friend and understands.

I've been keeping busy by working in my garden and I have to share some pictures with you. My Knock-Out rose is just gorgeous. This is the third growing season for it and it must have over a thousand blooms on it. I guess all those April showers really did a great job of producing May flowers.

I have this one corner of the garden in the backyard that has a lot of tree roots and shade (the crappier side of the yard). So, I decided to make it into a "Fairy Garden", which turned our pretty cute. I put up a shepard's hook and hung a candle and in the evening it just looks magical. Of course, Bailey thinks I put the gnome there so that he has a place to cock his leg. Gotta love my Garden Guard Dog...

Up until today the weather has been delightful, warm during the days and cool in the evenings with a nice breeze . However, today it was HOT (90-degrees) and I had to break down and turn on the air conditioner (argh).

We celebrated my granddaughter's 11th birthday this week - how can she be 11 already? Now that she's a "tween", I picked up a copy of a teen magazine as part of her gift. Can you believe that Tiger Beat magazine is still around? That brought back a flood of memories for me. I used to love that magazine. And, she was thrilled with it, too.

I've been working on another embroidery project. A "Bare Roots" sewing tote, but I don't have enough done on it to share a picture yet. By the time I finish working in the garden and cleaning the dirt out from under my fingernails, it's so nice and relaxing to just sit and stitch.

I think I'll kick back and relax tonight with my new copy of Quilt Sampler magazine.

Happy Mother's Day

WOW - Where has the time gone? It's been over 3 weeks since I've posted on my Blog. First, I would like to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow Bloggers.

Gardening season is in full swing here in the Northeast. Beautiful sunny skies and WARM weather during the days, followed by nice cool evenings. This is my kind of weather - no need for the heater nor the A/C to be running. However, gardening does make you break a sweat. Don't you wish that you were the person who thought of bottling water?

Here's Kylie trying to teach Bailey how to drink from a water bottle.

After a few trips to the local garden centers, I have quite a bit of stuff just waiting to be planted.

.

I had a wonderful early Mother's Day gift...my granddaughter came over to help me plant. We had so much fun playing in the dirt. Kylie prepared the soil and I did the planting, while Bailey supervised.

And, just to make this post semi-"quilty"...I finished this little bag to carry my embroidery hoop, floss and scissors. I have really been on an embroidery kick lately. After working out in the garden until it gets dark, it's a great way to kick back and relax.

My Ta-Da Moment

Well, I had my quick-fix finish. The stitchery part finished and the flap completed. What was I waiting for? So today was the day that I finished it. Ta-Da...

The envelope section just needed to be machine quilted - yikes, that's why I had stalled. For the first time, I used spray basting to put it together - I think I like it. Then I grabbed some multi-color machine quilting thread and sat myself down at the machine and quilted it with a grid pattern.

And, now it is loaded up with my next stitchery project, ready to grab and go...I love the size of it. It's large enough to hold a booklet, and an 8" hoop. It also has a pocket for scissors and floss.

I really enjoyed working on this project and may make a few more for Christmas gifts. I'm so glad to see stitchery making a come-back.

I found this poem that I just had to share.

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can overlook when people take things out on you,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can do all of these things,

Then you are probably the family dog.

It's A Beautiful Spring Day ....Finally

I woke up this morning to the sun shining and birds chirping, what a difference a week makes. I have all of the windows in the house open - I love the smell of Spring. And, if the temperatures keep rising - it may feel like summer by this afternoon - Break out the capri pants.

It's too nice outside to be inside the house, but I want to spend a little bit of time playing in my sewing room. I could/should spend some time cleaning up my sewing room, but, then that would take precious time away from sewing - and I need to strike while the iron is hot. After all, I could save the cleaning for a rainy day - we have plenty of those but there's no rain in sight for the next few days - just beautiful, gorgeous Spring weather.

I have plenty of projects to work on, but, I really need a "Ta-Da" moment. It's time to resurrect something that has been lying dormant for a while. Hmmm....what do I have in my bag of tricks that I could finish quickly? You'll just have to check back later.....

Weather Update and Ramblings

The rain has finally stopped (or at least it has been reduced to a drizzle), the water has receded from most of the area roads and today, for a brief period, the sun made a welcome appearance. I know they say that April Showers bring May Flowers and being an avid Gardener, I understand this, BUT, this was a bit excessive. However, with all of the wind, the ground is not that wet.

Meggie asked how Bailey reacted to the storm. He slept through most of it. Ahh, the Dogs Life. The only thing that Bailey doesn't like is thunder and fireworks. We live rather close to the minor league baseball stadium and they set off fireworks a couple times a month. Oh, speaking of Dogs Life - here is a quilt from the QHC show depicting a Dog's Life. It's so bright and colorful and the workmanship was to-die-for. Can you imagine how many fabrics went into making this?

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the families affected by the massacre at Virginia Tech this week. I just can't imagine how they are coping with this tragedy. I'm also tired of the media being armchair quarterbacks with their woulda, shoulda, coulda mentality - just let these families grieve.

I did file my taxes today (nothing like waiting until the last possible minute) and now that that black cloud is no long hanging over my head, I'm ready to start playing with some of the goodies that I got at the quilt show.

I'll leave you with a few more photos of quilts from the QHC Show. I'm just crazy about Flamingos (no pink flamingos in my garden, tho) and I couldn't resist snapping these shots. The photo on the left is titled "Happy Flamingos" and the one on the right is "Margarita Party". Hmmm...a margarita sounds pretty good about now.

Nor'Easter - April 15, 2007

Ok, so it's a week since it was Easter Sunday, but this Sunday we are in the midst of a Nor'Easter - not fun. We have had a record 4.22" of rain as of 8:00 p.m. and it's still raining with another inch of rain due overnight. The wind is howling with 40-50 mph gusts, the windows are rattling, and the lights are flickering. Unfortunately, it's a slow moving storm and not supposed to go out to sea until Wednesday. Many area roads are flooded. I will be so glad to see the sun shine again.

A Whirlwind of A Week

I think this is the first time this week that I have sat still long enough to write a post.

We had a wonderful Easter despite the cold weather - at least the sun was shining for part of the day but the wind made it feel like winter. What could be more wonderful than having the whole family together? We even had the Easter Egg hunt outside and wore winter coats over our Easter outfit -- the Hunt Must Go On.....

After all of the cooking I did on Saturday, Easter Sunday was one of the most relaxing days I ever had. I even worked a little on the stitchery portion of the Irish Chain table topper. But, the dogs were so entertaining as little Toby thinks he can do anything that Bailey, the big guy, can do....however, stealing the tennis ball was just too much.

Mom surprised me the Byer's Quilter as an Easter gift.

On Thursday, April 12th, we celebrated my Mom's 80th birthday. I think she looks pretty darned good for 80. She's been wanting a digital camera. Heck, if she can handle using the computer and having a new puppy, she can master a digital camera.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

On Friday, April 13th, I went with my friends, Deb and Susan, to the Quilter's Heritage Celebration in Lancaster, PA. We had such a great time shopping, looking at quilts, shopping, laughing, shopping, inspiring each other, and did I say, shopping? I'm surprised that the East Coast didn't feel a power surge with the friction created by all of the credit cards that were being swiped.

I'll tease you with one of the "First Place" Pictorial Quilts titled "Through Tuscany" by Cynthia England. You actually felt like you could just step right into this quilt.

When I got home from the show, tired, happy and a little lighter in the wallet, I dumped all of my purchases on the floor to look over what I bought. It was like Christmas all over again, no it was better than Christmas -- it was all quilting stuff.

And, I finally finished the stitchery portion on my Scrappy Irish Chain. I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking with it. Now, to put on the final border and get it quilted.

The Heat Is On

It's hard to believe that Easter is only minutes away, so I want to take this opportunity to wish you and your's a very Happy Easter.

The title of this post "The Heat Is On" is because even though the calendar says it's Easter - the heater is running, we had snow flurries today, it's cold, it's windy, which makes it feel even colder than it really is. Brrr....the only saving grace is looking out in my garden and seeing daffodils, tulips, hythacins and forsythia all in bloom. I spent all day in the kitchen cooking (and if you knew me well, you'd say Huh? You? Did you know it was the kitchen? Were you just sewing at the kitchen table???). Every year I make the Betty Crocker Easter bunny cake - and it always turns out so cute - here's a peek at the cake. Of course, that didn't take me all day, I also made potato salad, macaroni salad, ham and scalloped potatoes, but they're not as cute as this cake.

Not much happening on the quilting front. I'm working on the stitchery portion of the spring table topper and I do have 6 of the 12 flowers embroidered. Halfway point - Woo Hoo. [Note to self: keep going - don't quit now]. This is small enough that it's portable - so I may take it to my mother's tomorrow and work on it a little in between the Easter Egg hunt and fixing dinner. I really enjoy working on the stitchery, but it seems to take a L-O-N-G time to complete a block.

No fabric diet for me this month. Next week is the Quilter's Heritage Celebration in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I look forward to this show all year. I'm going up with two of my friends from work on Friday. One friend is a quilter and the other friend is just learning to quilt - and I know we'll have a great time. I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas.

Bailey is sporting his Easter outfit - an Easter neckerchief and he's ready for the Easter Bunny to bring him a new toy and a sleeve of tennis balls.

Happy Easter from Kim & Bailey

April Fool's Day

It seems a little sacrilegious that today is both April Fool's Day and Palm Sunday.

Did you ever have one of those days that you knew Candid Camera was hiding just around the corner? Or you were dropped into an old "I Love Lucy" skit. Well, I had one of those days today. Every time that I attempted to do something, there was something else that needed to be done and it seemed like it would be a quick fix so that I could get back to doing what I wanted to do, but instead, it took much longer and I wondered why I even started. Whew, how was that for a run-on sentence? Even Blogger wasn't playing nicely for me today. It has taken me forever to do this posting. Maybe it is fitting that it's April Fool's Day after all - I really felt like the April Fool.

After a few really nice days of 70-degree temperatures, today was dismal, cloudy and chilly. Mother Nature is letting us know who is the boss. I worked in the garden for a bit yesterday and that was a nice surprise, since it was supposed to rain and never did. We have gone 7 days without rain - that is a record so far this year. I just adore Spring flowers and they seem to be bursting out of the ground.

Today was a good day to sit down and do some mindless sewing, once I made it up to the sewing room. I have a few projects that I could have worked on, but nothing was singing to me to work on it or it required more thought than I wanted to spend time thinking about. I do have my Stitchery finished and even got the rick-rack sewn on, but I'm having a difficult time trying to wrap my mind around how to put it together -- so I shelved it for the time being.

So instead, I sat down and just started sewing together some 1-1/2" strips together to duplicate a pattern from the Handmade magazine. 1-1/2" strips are really small - since they only finish at 1" -- but, I'm pretty happy with the result even though it will only finish 35-1/2" square. Mindless sewing is just so therapeutic. I want to get two of the three borders on so that I can transfer the embroidery designs of different flowers in each of the open space blocks. Doesn't this just scream "Spring is Here"? It's going to be a table topper for my kitchen table.

Speaking of new beginnings, my Mom got a Yorkie puppy, Toby, and he is just so cute. Look at that sweet face. He's going to be a lot like Bailey, he just loves to mug for the camera.